今日、ツンデレさんが退社された。
オレは、ヘビをプレゼントした。
実は、ツンデレさんとは前回7月頃に仲直りしたと思われていた数ヶ月後に、
それを上回る衝突がまたまた起こって一切の交流も無くなってた矢先の出来事だった。
――――――――――――――――――――――――
10月頃の話。
オレはツンデレの勤務態度にずっと我慢ならなかった。
勤務中のケータイや関係ない話題での声のでかさ、他スタッフへの配慮の無さ、、。
確かに案件数はちゃんとこなしていたし、休憩中だからといえばそれまでだが、それにしても度が過ぎていたので、「ちょっと物申したいことあんねんけど」と言って呼び止めた。
既にピリピリムードで対峙していたので、オレの「外、出よか」に対しても、「なんでですか？？私時間ないんですけど。」と返されたので、仕方なくみんな作業してる横にある机に座った。
オレ 「あのさ、ここ会社やねんで、こういう勤務態度ってどうなんですか？
●●さん（ツンデレの名前）一人で仕事やってるんじゃないねんで。」
ツンデレ「▲▲さん（オレの名前）だって、甘えてるんちゃうの？
あれもこれも期日までに出来ませんって発言、あれはないわ。」
お互いの非をぶつけ合うバトルが始まった。周りはキーボードを打つ音だけが響いている。
今更だけど、ツンデレさん（もはやデレの部分はずっと前から既に見当たらないのだが）は気の強い女で、発言する表情にも凄味がある。対するオレは、後輩に厳しく注意する声も震えているという極小の肝っ玉の持ち主。
それでも、オレの言動は間違っていないと信じて、「ツンデレなんて泣かしてやんよ」ぐらいの気持ちで臨んでいた。
試合が第3ラウンドに入りそうな頃、ようやくデザイナーリーダー改めレフェリーが間に止めに入ってくれて、二人の意見を吸い上げて諭していく。
バトルが一段落してから落ち着いて、心の中で「どうしてわかってくれないんだこの女は！」という気持ちでいっぱいになった瞬間、オレの目が涙で溜まった。それかもしくはヒートアップしすぎて目に汗を掻いてしまった、のどっちか。
静かに嗚咽を漏らさないようにして泣いた、つもりだったけどバレバレ。悔し泣き？悲し泣き？よーわからん、多分どっちも。
思わず、ポルナレフのAAが浮かんだ。
|l､{ j} /,,ｨ//｜ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
i|:!ヾ､_ﾉ／ u {:}//ﾍ | あ…ありのまま 今 起こった事を話すぜ！
|ﾘ u' } ,ﾉ _,!V,ﾊ | ＜ 『おれはツンデレを泣かそうと
fト､_{ﾙ{,ィ'ｅﾗ , ﾀ人. | 思ってたらいつのまにか泣かされていた』
ヾ|宀| {´,)⌒`/ |<ヽﾄiゝ | 単に悔しかったとか悲しかったとか
ヽ iLﾚ u' | | ヾｌﾄﾊ〉. | そんなチャチなもんじゃあ 断じてねえ
ﾊ !ニ⊇ '／:} V:::::ヽ. │ もっと複雑な感情の高ぶりを味わったぜ…
/:::丶'T'' ／u' __ /:::::::/｀ヽ ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
すごい惨めなんだけど、そっから涙が止まんなくなってフロアの角端にうずくまって泣いてた。すぐ近くのお姉さんに「ティッシュと鏡取ってくださ～い・・」とか言いながら。
26歳にもなって女子と直に向き合って泣かされるとは思わなかったよ。もう小6以来の出来事。当時気になってた女子にちょっかい掛けてたら、横からデカい女子が出てきてビンタされた以来。（ちなみにツンデレには年始にも間接的に泣かされた）
もちろん近辺のコーダー・デザイナーからは一部始終見られてたみたいで、しばらくして席に着いたら、社内用IPメッセンジャーが立ち上がって各地より励ましのメッセージが届いたり、帰り際に先輩からポンと肩叩かれたり、みんなすげーいい奴だよなあって思ったり。。
――――――――――――――
まあそんなこんなで今となっては笑い話があって、ツンデレさんとはいくつもの悶着を経て同期として3年間やってきたわけですが、やっぱりいざ「辞めます、しかも2週間後に。」とくると急に寂しくなるもの。凹んだなァ。
なので、ツンデレさん最終出勤日の18時には、デザイナーみんなでツンデレを囲んで寄せ書き渡したり、ヘビでぐるんぐん巻いたり巻かれたりして、気持ちよく送別したよ。チクショウ、照れながらヘビにぐるぐる巻きのツンデレが悔しいけどかわいかったのだが。。
（あ、ヘビ購入に至るエピソードその他に関しては、また別エントリーにでも書きます）
そんなこと思い出しながらこの日記を書いてて、ツンデレさんは確かにちょっとムカつくことも多々あったけど、やっぱり一緒に過ごせて楽しかったです。
3年間一緒にやってきた中で、オレにとって『気の強いネエちゃん』『キレイなお姉さん』『自己中なコンチクショウ』といろんな一面があって、喜怒哀楽させてもらいました。
送別会終わりの解散時に、同僚がオレの耳元に渋い声で「抱きしめてやんなよ！」って言ってきた（今会社で流行ってるフレーズ）ので、改めて考えてみるんだけど、確かに抱きしめたかったけども、正直に「まだ好きなのか？Yes or No？」と問われたら「Yes」なんだろうけど、「そんじゃあ付き合いたい？」って聞かれたら、「んー・・」って沈黙が続いて答えを濁しちゃうみたいなニュアンスってわかる？
もちろんオレが、このじゃじゃ馬を乗りこなせる器を持っていないからというのもあるけど、なんか「異性として」を超えた付き合いの方が楽しそうというかうまくいきそうというか、よくわからんけどもそんなの。かもしれない。
まーまた、しばらくしてから会いたい人なのは確かなのです（結婚してそうな予感）。
長いことありがとう。お疲れ様でした！
さーてそんじゃあ、ツンデレに続いて次に会社を辞めるのはオレだーー！
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